Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sunday Scribblings #198 - "The Good Old Days" (15 minute timed writing)

Melanie swore off men again. She’s not in the mood for entertaining. The doorbell rings and she stays still, eyes wide like a woodland creature, hoping her predator won’t hear her. Two more fairly insistent rings, then whoever it is (is it actually Dick? She can’t tell- ) goes away.
 After she makes sure that all her doors and windows are properly locked, Melanie checks her inventory.

The Moosewood Cookbook. That would mean going shopping. Out of the question. There are no sunglasses in the world big enough to cover this bruise. What else?

 Five cans of tomato soup, saltines, two six-packs of Dr. Pepper, one slice of quiche in a doggy bag, some leftover zucchini bread, a Yoplait cup, and a bottle of Heinz. She will survive.

Melanie decides to sequester herself in her home studio for the weekend. Conduct her own purification rituals. Cleanse. Sweat it out. Regroup. Rejuvenate. Love herself.

Dick’s no great wit, anyway. His faded jeans and earrings don’t make him George Carlin, despite her best fantasies. Melanie resolves to hold out for the real George Carlin next time. Wait- there will be no next time. A woman would make a better soul mate. She lights a cigarette and walks over to the turntable. She rifles through her albums, searching with her fingers for the well-worn sleeve. Ah. Found it. She plunks the needle on, hears the crackle-pop, and waits. She will settle for no less than Carly Simon.

9 comments:

  1. Malanie swore off men..... again. I like that opening line. I hope the lady managed to realise her rather lofty ideals!

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  2. I really like this, and admire how you've kept it short yet said so much- I too am an aspiring writer and find this a problem I often have. (The other is procrstaination, as in 'I'm going to write this...tomorrow). Yesterday, however, I decided that I am a wrier- now, this minute. I have to believe it to make it happen.

    'eyes wide like a woodland creature' and 'melanie swore off men again' are great lines!

    I look forward to reading more of your writing! My Sunday Scribbling is up too.

    Bella
    Bella

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  3. writer, that is ....not a wrier. I need coffee. :)
    Bella

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  4. Thank you Brenda and Bella, for reading my piece and for your kind comments!

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  5. Interest grabbing story that leads to...where's the rest of it?

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  6. Melanie had the right idea, love yourself occasionally. OK, OK, more often then. Dick doesn't love you if he gave you that bruise, dump him for sure!

    More please Amy.

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  7. Carly Simon was on my mind too! I love this. I think you may have the same issue I have with tense though. Take this for what it's worth because I am no one to be giving advice - but take out the present tense and try it - "Two more fairly insistent rings, then whoever it was (was it actually Dick? She couldn’t tell)went away.
    After she made sure that all her doors and windows were properly locked, Melanie checked her inventory." Again - I love this and feel free to totally ignor me :)

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  8. Thanks for the advice, Dee. The funny thing is, I initially wrote the piece in the past tense, then thought I'd shake things up a bit and place it in present!

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